As Mummy's death anniversary approaches, I began walking down memory lane.
November 2002. I was 14 years old and the doctor diagnosed Mummy with malignant cancer in her rectum and the cancer was spreading rapidly to her liver. This news ripped my heart. Since the news of Mummy’s cancer, life for all my family members became an uphill struggle.
Daddy tried his best to find the best cure for Mummy. He, the family’s sole breadwinner, would either be working or taking Mummy for radiotherapy and traditional Chinese treatments, which sometimes might take them out of the state. This leaves my elder sister, my younger brother and I alone most of the time. All we could do was to pray hard for miracles to happen. In fact, until Mummy’s very last breath, Daddy was still combating the illness with her and seeking treatment for her. Back at home, Daddy refused to talk about Mummy’s condition and my siblings and I were disturbed by this lack of information.
I felt so helpless and soon, my desire to help changed my once lazy and carefree character into a self-reliant young man. I helped my sister to take care of the house and of our younger brother, who was then 11 years old. Everyone at my age would be enjoying their teenage years but I had no time for such luxury. My time was fully devoted to taking care Mummy, entertaining her and providing her moral support.
Soon, I was in Form 3 and the PMR drew closer. It was not easy to juggle my studies and taking care of Mummy but I did not neglect either of them. I had to be there for Mummy and at the same time, to produce excellent results to make her proud of me. I thank God for seeing me through this turbulence and granting me the splendid results.
Mummy’s condition worsened when I was in Form 4. Mummy needed more money for her medical fees and therefore, I spent my school break working for extra money and visiting Mummy at the hospital. She would be lying on the hospital bed, looking cheerful as always. Suffering from the needles injected into her emaciated body, Mummy could barely move a muscle yet she never failed to put on the most glorious smile, radiating love. Despite her agony, Mummy was only concerned with our affairs and asked about our latest developments in lives, worrying more about us than her devastating condition. Never before I heard her whine about her pain. Her optimism and strong-will to fight the disease until her very last breath, which was a month after I began working, taught me never to give up and to fight till the very end.
Therefore, I did not give up nor did I succumb to any circumstances easily. Despite feeling the pain and the agony of losing her, I continued to prepare myself for SPM which was just around the corner. Consequently, I scored remarkable results and was offered JPA scholarship to further my studies in the
Losing Mummy makes me more emotionally and mentally prepared to handle any setbacks in life. I learnt that no matter how much we loathe losing the things we love, life still has to go on.
Recently, I had lost significant things in life. I did not have the strength to move on. I thank God for making me remember Mummy’s precious lesson. I will lose many more things in the future but I will definitely not despair nor give up on life. With enough passion and commitment, my life could still be meaningful and colorful.
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
And God keeps You Going.
1 comment:
Found it!!! =))
Even though life is hard and disappointing all the time, or sometimes, there will be still hope and love around us as long as we believe, as long as we hang on to our hope..
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